As I sit here, mindlessly scrolling through my social media feeds, I am inexplicably drawn to the wit and wisdom of sarcastic tweets and media moguls. And in these trying times, when the very fabric of our society seems to be tearing at the seams thanks to the relentless assault of politics and corrupt administration, it is more important than ever to find the tiniest glimmer of laughter amid the darkness. Or at least, that’s what my therapist tells me.
Recently, Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif inaugurated a smart school in Balochistan. This smart school was apparently constructed in record time, in just two months, in a flood-affected area. The Prime Minister even took the time to mingle with the schoolchildren and sit with them in their classrooms. Of course, as is always the case, his picture went viral on social media.
The public could only shake their heads in despair at the government’s incompetence and rampant corruption. Inflation is at an all-time high and people are struggling to make ends meet, with daily wages or even monthly salaries barely enough to feed their families.
Coming to the point of the blog post, it was Sir. Khurram Shahzad’s tweet that really caught my eye. He posted the picture of the esteemed Prime Minister and gave it a hilarious caption, suggesting that perhaps the PM would have to teach the English alphabet to the schoolchildren.
But as I started to think about it more, in the spirit of improvisation, I thought I’d give it a try too. So here it is:
A for Audios 📳🤙
B for Bajwa Boss
C for Courts 😰, Corruption 🤗
D for Dar Sahb, 💵 Dollar 😱
E for Election (uff No No),, ammm han; E for Establishment
F for Fauj , Farooq bhai
G for Gaddi, wadi wali 🚘 pols wali 🚔 nai, [un ka nam loń? 🤔🙇 Bismillah] G for GHQ 🙏
H for Helicopter 🚁
I for Imran 🥶 [tuba tuba Amran], 😰 IMF 😥
J for JUI, Javed Chaudhry sahb
K for Khan 🥶 [astaghfar], Kaptaan [tuba tuba], Ok K for “Korya”
L for London ❤️, Leaks
M for Maryam 🧐 Maulana Mehangai 😡
N for Bare bhai, matlab Nawaz ✋
O for Oil, P for Petrol ⛽️
Q for Qaaf Group 🥳 [PML-Q]
R for Rana Sahb 🥸, [bachoń ko Regime change ka nahi pata huga]
S for S [wait S se mera bhi naam] Ok S for Shehbaz 😜, S for Sharif[s]
T for TTP ⚠️+🥰
U for U-turns [ahaha]
V for Votes 🤬 [kabhi nahi]
W for Wela, Wazir [bachoń wuzara humare pas 70 se ziada hain aor wely bhi hain 😇😎]
X for X-ray [ammm audio video leaks 🤔] XXX
Y for Yes [amm 🤔 Maulana Zardari] Yaar
Z for Zardariiii [hahahaha] 🤗
Which one is your favorite? Feel free to improvise your own in the comments below.
It’s almost impossible to live in these times, isn’t it? I mean, I just got a text from someone who told me that his weekly wage is now so low that his family is suffering from hunger and poverty. And this is just in the village! Can you imagine how people are faring in the cities, where the use of gas and electricity is almost nonexistent?
And speaking of suffering and despair, a man who texted me early in the morning to tell me about his condition? It’s a whopping Rs 8,000 (weekly wage), which is for sure not enough to feed his family. You see, the price of eighty kilograms of flour has skyrocketed to a staggering Rs 12,000 rupees, and his family goes through one bag a week. Can you even imagine the horror of trying to feed your family on such a measly wage?
But wait, it gets even worst. This man lives in a village where the use of gas and electricity is practically nonexistent. So not only are they struggling to put food on the table, they’re also living in the dark and cold. It’s enough to make you wonder how they even survive. And if this is the situation in the village, just think about the hellish conditions people in urban areas must be enduring.
It’s truly a sad state of affairs when basic necessities like food and electricity are out of reach for so many people. But hey, at least we have a few great personalities to take inspiration from, right? Because that’s really all that matters in the grand scheme of things. Sarcasm and humor off.
So as we try to survive in these trying times, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the government’s dedication to building smart schools, even as the rest of us struggle to survive.